Female Masturbation: Tips, Techniques & Advice

The Guide To Self Pleasure For Women

Confused as to where to begin? Here are some handy tips for effective and satisfying masturbation, whether loved-up, single or just desperately seeking some good old-fashioned fun.

First of all, do not be afraid to examine your own body; it’s all very well getting touchy-feely down there, but how do you really know what you are doing if you’ve never had a look at your genitals? Sit naked in a chair, or relax on a bed and position a hand-mirror so you can get a proper look at your vagina and pelvic region. A lot of women compare their naked bodies; especially the open vagina with what they see in pornography or in the media and this is not helpful. Whilst comparison can be useful when determining the general scheme of things, it does little to ease female anxiety about what their own genitals look like (especially in women with limited sexual experience or who have experienced natural childbirth). One thing is for certain; remaining blind to the appearance and functioning of the vagina will not make these very normal anxieties disappear or change what you were given. No-one’s vagina matches a perfect anatomical diagram!

Next, touch your body. Start with the breasts and nipples; rub your breasts gently and tweak the nipples. Note what makes them become erect, and how the sensitivity changes. Many women regularly examine their breasts, but neglect them in the masturbation process; remember your nipples are one of your main erogenous zones and will enhance your arousal when touched. Once you are comfortable with this, move onto the genital area. Cup the pelvic area in your hand, and gently rub your vulva with the tips of your fingers. Your clitoris can be found above the urethral opening (from which you urinate) and vaginal entrance and you may have to part your vaginal lips to locate this area, which appears to be like a pea-shaped ‘nub’ of flesh. The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the female body, containing nerve endings and erectile tissue, similar to that present at the tip of the male penis. Stimulation should provide a warm, tingling sensation as blood rushes to this area and during arousal the clitoris will harden and swell.

Once familiar with this, try inserting one or two fingers into the vagina to get a sense of what the interior feels like. You may wish to moisten the clitoris, as the slippery, silky sensation enhances the feel of contact with intimate areas. Whilst the natural fluids produced by the vagina, when aroused, are the perfect lubrication for masturbation, this is not always an option for all (some women do not produce enough natural lubrication and require a helping hand). Alternatives include saliva or specially-manufactured lubricants which can be bought cheaply and can also be used during vaginal or anal penetration (being entirely safe for use with condoms as it will not degrade the material from which they are made). Some lubricants and creams now come with a special sensitising ingredient and this is an excellent way of raising your pleasure levels during masturbation with increased likelihood of climax- see for example La Viva Gel, an amazing orgasm-boosting product made from natural ingredients which promises a cool-burning tingle . Never use anything which you would not usually allow to come into contact with sensitive areas of your body, as irritation and injury may occur. Whilst some women try lotions, shower gels and soaps, particularly when masturbating in the bath or shower, even these products may cause minor irritation when rubbed into the genital areas for prolonged periods, so care must be taken.

Some women enjoy visual stimulation (usually in the form of pornographic film or images--something which is associated with male masturbation), but others find they are aroused more through fantasy and the use of their imagination.  Remember, if you are tempted to try pornography to masturbate, but are turned-off by the idea of watching male-orientated film (as many women are), there are many new female directors making pornographic films nowadays, which tend to focus more on the physicality of the male actor and have more female-friendly plotlines.

Remember, it is unlikely you will experience an orgasm on your first attempt as masturbation, and this should not alarm you. Do not focus on the orgasm as the end result; concentrate on the building feelings of pleasure you get from touching the clitoris and vagina and try to relax and breathe deeply and evenly. Many things may prevent an orgasm from happening; distraction; temperature (i.e. if you are too hot or cold) and tension or stress. If you begin to feel tense or frustrated, simply stop and try again on another occasion; try and limit your initial sessions to twenty minutes or so and don’t feel dejected or disillusioned by the absence of climax in early masturbation—like all good things, sometimes they crop up when least expected!

There has been some doubt as to whether the G-spot actually exists since gynaecologist Ernst Grafenberg produced a study on female orgasm in the 1950s, identifying urethral stimulation as a source of sexual pleasure. The term Ghere has-spot was coined in the 1980s (named after Grafenberg), and raised controversy amongst contemporary scientists and medical/sexual health practitioners as to the presence of this erogenous zone, which can be found approximately  1 – 3 inches up from the vaginal entrance, against the front wall. The male prostrate is analogous to the female G-spot, which has been referred to in similar terminology by modern gynaecologists, who now largely accepted that there is ample evidence for its existence. Indeed, studies show that orgasm by way of the G-spot is accompanied by ‘female ejaculation’ of vaginal fluid in up to 82% of female adults who reported successful location and stimulation. However, be warned, finding your own G-spot is not easy (especially by hand) and women (or man) should not feel inadequate if they fail to do so—if learned professionals are unable to categorically situate and describe the G-spot, the average person should not be put off by initial disappointment. Indeed, a range of sex toys (G-spot vibrators for internal use) with special curvature and contouring to facilitate the stimulation of the G-spot have been designed to assist in treasure-hunting.

Also avoid inserting objects into the vagina unless you are certain that they are (a) safe and will not break once inside; (b) suitable for contact with the body; (c) hygienic; and (d) non-abrasive or rough-edged. Whilst we do not wish to dampen your mood, caution must always be taken when introducing new items into your sexual itinerary, particularly those not specifically intended for sexual use. Some women try hard, penis-shaped foodstuffs, such as carrots, cucumbers or bananas; handles of implements such as hair brushes or kitchen utensils or other plastic items to stimulate themselves, internally and externally, but this may not be appealing to all. If you are using DIY sex toys it is advisable that, where possible, a lubricated condom is used over the part of the item which is to be inserted into the body. Always use your common sense and do not try anything if you have any concerns about safety or hygiene.

 

Finally, remember there is no universally-agreed ‘correct’ method of masturbation or rules as to the frequency at which masturbation should take place. Some people masturbate once in a blue moon, and others may engage in self-pleasure multiple times throughout the day. Masturbation is normal and enjoyable—use it as and when you desire, both as a singleton, or when in a sexual relationship; experiment and share your techniques with your lover so they know exactly what buttons to press and what will blow your mind!